I'm glad to introduce Michelle and her TMYS letter here. I'm sure you guys have seen her commenting around Buddha Belle. She has been one of my best friends since high school. She has two adorable kids and is a wonderful friend, mother, and person overall. She's new to blogging, you can pop on over to East to Southwest to show her some support.
To My Younger Self,
Don't ever put that pencil down. You will reach a point where you'll feel that you're not good enough. That is not the case. Once you put that pencil down, your life will change. Your world will change...and you will lose A LOT. Don't be afraid of the challenges. The ones you face right now are much easier than the ones you'll face if you give up on yourself now.
You have it really easy in high school. Try not to skip so many days of school and be a little more assertive. Don't let your childish relationships with those geniuses hinder your schoolwork. Take advantage of the relationship and let them help you accelerate. I know you feel trouble at home and you feel the need to have someone by your side, loving you and giving you all their attention. But no one lives off of words and empty promises. In any and all of your relationships, don't worry or fret over the tiny things. Worry about yourself, your health, and YOUR happiness.
Once you hit college - that's where the adventure really begins. And it could be the GREATEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE. Just don't let that crush for that tall, dark, green-eyed COWARD fool you. Looking deep down inside of him, he is a man who loves to beat up on women, cheat, and LIE LIE LIE. Just keep gazing, just keep fantasizing. But nothing more...He is not worth it. Better yet, stick to Nathan. He's your free ticket to ITALIA! and happiness.
Now - when you go to that club with your Mommy, against your will but for her sake, and that man holds out his hand to dance with you - DON'T LET HIM GET YOU PREGNANT AFTER A MONTH OF KNOWING HIM. I STILL haven't figured him out yet. I am not sure if his intentions were good or bad.
Still, ya'll could have had a great relationship. You could've had him eating out of the palm of your hands, kissing your feet, feeding you grapes while fanning you. Don't give in so easily. Let him come to you. Let him prove himself worthy. Let him take care of you. He is a great guy, but if you drown him with your tears and complaints, you'll just push him away and lose the game.
Remember, words and empty promises don't put food on the table, clothe you, or shelter you. They just hurt you.
Plan that move to Arizona AND MOVE! DO NOT GO TO AUSTIN. DO NOT APPLY AT LOWES. AND *DO NOT* FALL FOR THAT MAN WITH SPARKLY BLUE EYES. You think your mom has ruined your life. You think you know what hurt feels like. You think you've heard all the lies in the world. This one is the final and most deadly predatory of all time. He will lure you into his web and hypnotize you. You will never be the same. You will never love the same. You will never trust the same. He will leave you penniless and bitter. And maybe in a mental institution.
You're sixteen and you plan to adopt kids when you're 26. Draw, draw, DRAW your heart out and get that degree. When you're done with the first one, get another degree. And if by that time, you're done with your studies and don't find yourself working in Italy side by side with Nathan, start your family. Most importantly, once you begin the role of a mother, don't let ANYONE get in the way of you and your kids. Don't worry about anything else than your kids and your health. You live only once and you either make the best of it or the worst.
Don't let go of that pencil and you'll be just fine.
CONFIDENCE, STRENGTH & LOVE within yourself is all you need.
Sincerely,
Yourself 10 years older, 2 kids wiser, topped with stress, bitterness, and a little hope