Minor setback

Dear reader, don't you - AHEM - dare give me that "I told you so" look! I know I'll get it from my husband if I tell him about this. But he reads this blog so he'll know later anyway. Ok, so remember my last post, Comfort Food, where I told you about my chocolate binge? Well...the thing is, it wasn't the only thing I TOTALLY overate. You know my brother was around and getting ready to leave, so we started having goodbye dinners a week early, plus the weather sucked and I just didn't have time or the attitude for a workout. Blah Blah Blah - you know how it is.

So at a little rendevouz with Mady this morning revealed yet again the irony of how hard it is to lose 1 pound and how easy and fast it is to gain 3 back. This is what has happened. Buddha Belle readers know this will not do at all! I didn't apply to myself what I have been preaching, but you guys knew I'm in the struggle as well...no one said I was on the greener side of the pasture here.

Up to high school, in middle and elementary school, I was an excellent student - always A's, sometimes B's, never anything below. But when I reached high school, I don't know what happened, I let go of my good girl studious image, started skipping classes all the time, smoking, partying, even failed a class or two... Going over to the bad side is easier than you think. People all around, my caregivers, my teachers and principals would ask me, "Jojo, what happened? I know you are smart, that is not the problem here. You just DON'T APPLY yourself."

They were right...throughout college, reversing my habits from high school was hard. When I wanted to, things came very easily to me and I was always the outspoken know-it-all in school. But when I got LAZY, all my positives got overshadowed. Last two years before I graduated, I realized that I really do love learning, I became more proactive, got myself up on time for class no matter what - my grades improved, even got on the Dean's list couple of times.

My "don't apply myself" despite having the knowledge or the ability is what's messing me up with this dieting and working out thing. I will have two-three weeks of not missing workouts, good eating habits, and then I just let go. I don't absolutely start pigging out or anything but I will get too lazy to get on the treadmill, use every excuse not to go to the gym, and OD on snacking, especially in the evening. Dinnertime has never been my greatest hour.

Woe is me is definitely not me and I have to think, it was easy to gain it, so it will be just as easy to lose it again. You'll be surprised how far positive attitude will take you, sometimes it's all you need to break you away from your funk. It's not a setback, it's a challenge - but even I vomit in my mouth a little when I read this. Basically, I'm pissed and what I want right now is to channel my anger into furthering my efforts, positive attitude will come later. Whatever...


P.S. Don't watch the Food Network channel if you're trying to lose weight. You know you're there lying underneath the TV with your gaping piehole, drooling and waiting for the creme brule to drip into your mouth magically. Ok, I will turn it off, I swear, and only turn it on for Iron Chef!