Politics of Marriage

Oy...am I going to be in trouble if I write this...HA! Yes I shall continue anyway.

So we're treading dangerous waters here. Marriage is awesome, but hard. There you were minding your own damn business and then you had to go get married...it happens, I feel ya. At first, you're reveling in the lovey-doveyness and then CRASH-KABOOM, you must become serious about your life, and move on with getting old. Can't put that off, right?

Nobody wants to air their dirty laundry in public and those of us who blog - it takes some cojones to put ourselves out here in the blogosphere. But yes, none of us and our lives are perfect and we all got problems now and then. Money issues, the "in-law" conversations, you didn't do this or that, and get your ass up when your kid is crying so I can sleep! ....yea all of that.

Let me give you a run-down (this is after the 2-day bickerfest):

- Don't you feel bad? Can't you ONCE IN YOUR LIFE admit that you're wrong?
- Why do you have to always be right? I'm not going to apologize because I just don't agree!
(He was wrong I tell ya, he was!!!)
- You are immature!
-Don't ever say that again! If I was immature I wouldn't be....blah blah I tuned him out
- Why are you being like this!? (I think my brain vein is popping at this moment)
- Whatever, I have to go poop. (and play basketball, great!)

It's so hard to pinpoint on your emotions when you're married and not just dating. You love this man insanely one second and then you're thinking you'd like to wax his balls while he sleeps. On the really bad days, you cry and feel restless thinking that now you're going to end up a divorcee, be a single mother, and face the major suckage that is your life.

Yes, sometimes I AM wrong...but it's like HE does or says something hurtful and then we start going at it. You try to resolve one issue and every extra WORD opens up a new can of worms that by the end of the horrible fight...you now have not only 1 issue but a 100.

THEN, when you calm down and try to resolve it again, you just CAN'T because you can't ignore all the shitty things that have been mentioned which weren't even RELEVANT to the fight in the first place. It's a vicious cycle.

Some people have the ignorance, NAY the talent, of completely forgetting these little things and then, there are some that are the BULL, the elephant/turtle hybrid, and the DONKEY in the relationship who just can't FORGET it. The latter is me. I mean I do let it go and forgive, but some words cannot be forgotten. And sadly, over the years nasty words deteriorate the love you had for the one who spoke them.

Moral here is, watch what you say. Not only when you're angry but also when you're just living daily life. It may not mean anything but a witty comeback to you at the heat of the battle, but it may just be heart-breakingly hurtful to someone else....and they will NEVER forget it. Then you meekly apologize, but what's done is done. Here's one of my most favorite quotes:

"Sharp words will cut your own throat"