Spectrophobia

This is what I have. Fear of ghosts. MedicineNet.com defines it as an abnormal and persistent fear of ghosts. Sufferers of this fear experience undue anxiety even though they realize their fear is irrational. For the love of the Dude above, I just cannot help myself. I think my imagination is just damn too fertile.

The first time I thought I saw a ghost was when my aunt had died when I was about 7...I don't remember, but I was little. My parents and my extended family were very busy with the funeral and everything, and my cousin was staying overnight. As we were sleeping in my room, in the middle of the night, suddenly I woke up and I saw the door creaking back and forth. There was nobody there. I looked around to see if a window was open and it wasn't. I rushed to wake up my cousin and when she did, the door had already stopped moving. OH MY GOD, needless to say, this has WRECKED my whole life. I never forgot this and I'm convinced that it WAS my aunt.

Anyway, fast-forward to the present and at 23, I'm still freaked out about ghostly spirits. I can't even close my eyes when I shampoo my hair, and sometimes I ask my husband to come "visit" and him being a sweetie, sits on the toilet and plays his PSP while I finish. Funny, I know but I don't know what to do about it. It doesn't help that we're currently renting a house where someone we KNEW died, and we WERE THERE when it happened. (No it wasn't murder, don't worry, she was just sick and old)

So last night, one of the WORST things occurred, something I've been imagining about since I became a mom. Think about it: your child is peacefully sleeping upstairs, you're downstairs with the monitor on, doing super-important things (like reading cool blogs?)...suddenly you hear an evil little laugh on the monitor which YOU KNOW isn't your child. OH MY GOD, I almost pissed my pants.

I was so afraid to go upstairs that I woke up my husband who fell asleep watching TV (why am I ALWAYS witnessing these things by myself) and we went together. I was half-expecting a little ghostly midget hovering over my helpless child, me having a deathly heart attack while my husband has no idea what's going on since he DOESN't have a sixth sense like me. But...there was nothing there. I guess the window was open and it must've come from outside.

But still, in the middle of the night, there wouldn't be any kids outside! Plus, don't you think there should be some noise before and after the EVIL laugh, something that had caused it or whatever. OK, I'll stop but if that happens again and you find I don't post at all anymore...you guys know what has happened. (we'll blog about it on the other side? LOL)


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