Politics of Marriage

Oy...am I going to be in trouble if I write this...HA! Yes I shall continue anyway.

So we're treading dangerous waters here. Marriage is awesome, but hard. There you were minding your own damn business and then you had to go get married...it happens, I feel ya. At first, you're reveling in the lovey-doveyness and then CRASH-KABOOM, you must become serious about your life, and move on with getting old. Can't put that off, right?

Nobody wants to air their dirty laundry in public and those of us who blog - it takes some cojones to put ourselves out here in the blogosphere. But yes, none of us and our lives are perfect and we all got problems now and then. Money issues, the "in-law" conversations, you didn't do this or that, and get your ass up when your kid is crying so I can sleep! ....yea all of that.

Let me give you a run-down (this is after the 2-day bickerfest):

- Don't you feel bad? Can't you ONCE IN YOUR LIFE admit that you're wrong?
- Why do you have to always be right? I'm not going to apologize because I just don't agree!
(He was wrong I tell ya, he was!!!)
- You are immature!
-Don't ever say that again! If I was immature I wouldn't be....blah blah I tuned him out
- Why are you being like this!? (I think my brain vein is popping at this moment)
- Whatever, I have to go poop. (and play basketball, great!)

It's so hard to pinpoint on your emotions when you're married and not just dating. You love this man insanely one second and then you're thinking you'd like to wax his balls while he sleeps. On the really bad days, you cry and feel restless thinking that now you're going to end up a divorcee, be a single mother, and face the major suckage that is your life.

Yes, sometimes I AM wrong...but it's like HE does or says something hurtful and then we start going at it. You try to resolve one issue and every extra WORD opens up a new can of worms that by the end of the horrible fight...you now have not only 1 issue but a 100.

THEN, when you calm down and try to resolve it again, you just CAN'T because you can't ignore all the shitty things that have been mentioned which weren't even RELEVANT to the fight in the first place. It's a vicious cycle.

Some people have the ignorance, NAY the talent, of completely forgetting these little things and then, there are some that are the BULL, the elephant/turtle hybrid, and the DONKEY in the relationship who just can't FORGET it. The latter is me. I mean I do let it go and forgive, but some words cannot be forgotten. And sadly, over the years nasty words deteriorate the love you had for the one who spoke them.

Moral here is, watch what you say. Not only when you're angry but also when you're just living daily life. It may not mean anything but a witty comeback to you at the heat of the battle, but it may just be heart-breakingly hurtful to someone else....and they will NEVER forget it. Then you meekly apologize, but what's done is done. Here's one of my most favorite quotes:

"Sharp words will cut your own throat"

Love = Weight gain?

When you first enter college, everyone claims you will gain the Freshman Fifteen - mostly from partying I suppose. And on average, most everyone does.

Well here's something interesting, my husband and I had this discussion years back when we first met...that when you fall in love, you gain weight. Could this be true? Maybe not for all...maybe for some yes? As it turns out, we both have! I was quite slim wearing my cute midriffs and he was smokin' with his rippling arms and perky butt (yea babe!). Granted we still try to keep our bods in shape, but it HAS become hard with all the work and the baby taking up all our free time.

So, do single people work harder on keeping their bodies in tip-top shape in the prospect of attracting more mates? And does that also imply that married couples or simply couples don't try so hard anymore...hhmm have we let ourselves go because we know we have someone already? I don't like to think so - I think what basically happened to us is LIFE. Priorities, responsibilities, and crazy schedules with lots of sleep deprivation.

When we were single college students not too long ago, our diets consisted of ramen and eating take-out food that lasted 3 days. Now that we're a family with a budget and other such grown-up stuff, we eat more home-made meals and more healthily, I suppose is the right description. So bad food isn't the assailant here...it is non-movement caused by pure fatigue and lack of time.

Last night, we have come up with a rotating schedule so both of us can have some alone work-out time (at the gym)...I did mostly for the sake of my hubby because the poor guy doesn't have any time for himself. He works all day and then a lot in the evening as a web developer, and is a great dad spending every free time with the baby so I can have my hands free. All veteran parents say the first year is the hardest...now we'll just have to see won't we? There's 4 months left till that day but I do doubt it'll be any easier. Hopefully with this new plan, we can both work-out and keep our energy up and going for the hectic toddler days to come.

New Year's Eve

On December 31st, we were married to start the new year along with the new life.

"Love is what you've been through with somebody."
James Thurber